I found myself sat in the library again today. Anxiety was in the air on the run up to two of my friends and my girlfriend's sociology exam. It was break time and kids were bustling in and out of the busy book storing area. We were sat, textbooks and revision guides flung open on the table, papers spread out all over the place in the mess of last minute revision. I didn't have an exam, so I was only one of the group who wasn't stressing too badly. I say too badly because I wasn't going for a test, oh no, I was doing something equally as scary; my driving lesson.
Driving lessons seem to be a way of life at the minute, they would be ok if I didn't come back every time feeling as if I had achieved nothing. Nevertheless, I walked to my lesson ready to be humiliated by the shocking lack of talent I had when it came to moving a car. As I took a seat behind the wheel, I greeted my instructor, put the car into first gear and off we went, hopping up and down like a bunny rabbit on drugs. Todays lesson, to cut a long story short, wasn't the best. I got out of the car feeling like I could have done better.
I was disheartened as usual, though I had been through worse.
It was my first driving lesson when my mad life took a turn for the worst. Through my time on Earth, I had never been fully interested in cars and back then I couldn't even tell a gear stick from a clutch, so the opener to my learning experience was the most nerve racking. I opened the car door and sat next to my new driving instructor, she introduced herself as Sally, she was in her late fifties, had short greying hair and a nervous smile. As the lesson started she took me through what each part of the car was and within five minutes we were on the open road. This would have been all very well, if the open road wasn't full of busy cars trying to get through their day to day life without distraction of a spanking brand new learner to get in their way.
From friends comments I had assumed that I would be driving down back alleys and deserted streets so to get the hang of things, but not with Sally. Oh no. We hit it off on the biggest dual-carrageway in Derby, the A38.
I screamed as I soared down the lane, on the road to nowhere. The car was going at 60mph and I hadn't even been at 30! I was going to die, this could never end well, that's when Sally told me to turn left at the round about. Bloody round about? What the hell is that? Flicking the signal stick down, I found myself spinning around a corner at such a pace that would make any roller-coaster fan buzz with adrenaline... another reason why I was going to die; I hate roller-coasters!
Somehow I made it to the end of that lesson, but as I stood up my clothes were drenched in my own sweat. I had perspired enough to fill a bath.
These days, I don't tend to drive as reckless. I'm still mastering the basics but one day, one day I will be out there with the big leagues like my Mum and Dad... (basically I'll be able to move a car and not be at risk of killing somebody)
Until then, I will keep surviving as my mad life unfolds, whatever could be in store next?
The lesson of todays blog is... never go on a dual-carrageway on your first lesson. HEAR THAT DRIVING INSTRUCTORS?!
Friday, 21 January 2011
Thursday, 20 January 2011
Sweaty Moustaches and Creative and Media!
My course details came today! And by the exclamation mark you can probably tell that I'm pretty excited about it. Everything about this course is perfect, nothing could take the gleam off my face when I saw it. Ten big books on my favourite topic! Three mini booklets and a big fat lump of a read called "Cracking The Short Story Market" by Iain Pattison. After I saw the parcel that contained them all, I ran straight to the kitchen, seized a pair of scissors off the table and went ahead stabbing the Sellotape and eagerly ripping it open.
Now before I go into the fables of the day, I'm going to clear up the cliffhanger I left at the end of the previous post.
My performance started, as we announced that we were going to do our act. I got up nervously joined by my companions, Jacob and Lauren, as they cleared the stage and allowed me to begin our act. I was singing as if I was a priest in a church and I can tell you now that it was not easy to keep a straight face as I stood there, eyes closed singing "ahhhhhhhmen" and "ahhhhhh yesss". I thought up the "ah yes" from the aid of the legendary Tom Baker, who used to be a monk you know? The audience of five were giggling and my adrenaline pumped up, the rush allowed me to turn into my crazy onstage alter ego (known in this case as Al Raffers).
At fifteen minutes, this was the longest performance me and my dear partner had done. But as we stood there making complete prats out of ourselves, it almost felt like we had been doing this all of our lives and the jokes seemed to come out fluently, some were bad, "why did the chicken cross the road?" "I don't know, why don't you go and ask him?" and some were worse, "What do you call a fish with no eyes?" "Fsh?" "No, blind!" but at the end of it, we got a massive applause and I was left feeling very proud of myself and my two co-stars. The double act truly is working out and yesterday proved it for sure. We were rated 98/100 for our performance and I must say that is in particular a brilliant score to have as the judge is harsh.
Back to todays antics, I decided to visit the Joseph Wright Centre. This is the home of Derby college, it is a big building which looks extremely dull in a futuristic kind of way on the outside, but full of fun on the inside. I was there for the open day, exploring to see if I could find the right courses for me and as my eyes burst out of their sockets at the look of the extremity of the place, I almost fell over for amazement! This was an entire world, I hadn't even know had existed until the very moment I stepped inside. Following the crowd, we approached the young woman at the table. She gave us a friendly face and ushered me into writing my name and details on a small page. After this we were all hurdled into a room that was full of comfy seats and a projector board.
We sat and a small pompous man stood in front of us. His skin was tanned and he wore a navy blue suit, which gave his stance a formal tone. His hands were clasped together, fidgeting at the look of the growing audience.
On his face, was a sweaty moustache which was mimicked by his hair, that had begun to recede half way across his head. Of all the features this man possessed, the bright red shirt was what stuck out the most. It was accompanied by a red and white poka dot tie, which was dazzling in the dim light. "Good evening", he cleared his throat as his rich voice spoke almost automatically. "Welcome to the Joseph Wright Center..."
And so the speech on for around twenty minutes and slowly but surely I found that I began to like this guy. He was honest and sweet, spoke of the students with real pride in his voice and made all of us feel calm and comforted. This place was a place that I could grow to love.
After the last slide, we began to pile out of our rooms and looked upon the map as we begun the quest to find the courses we wanted to hear more about. First I pursued the media room, eager to find if I could do my A2 course. The good news was that I could finish it! The bad news was I needed three extra AS topics before I could do it. A2 you may find yourself asking? Well let me explain why I'm even looking at college at the age of 17...
I made some wrong choices in year 12 and made some even worse ones in year 13. I decided to take a diploma in creative and media and found only recently that it was a rotten idea.
Back to reality....
I had 2 AS courses picked out. These were, extended project (a project about anything) and photography (photoshop, here I come!) and the final of the three I had originally decided to do, was Film Studies. But because of what I like to call "Al's academic luck", it had been dropped for the following year. Which left me with a dilemma, what course could I do? I seemed to recall the head talking about a games development course and decided to take a further look into it.
Sitting down at the table which had been set up with a black cloth draped over it and a laptop perched to the side of the two men that ran it. They introduced themselves as Bob, a man with glasses and short spiky hair, in his late 40's and Dan - grade one all over, slightly younger than the other. "We open the course with graphic designs", said Bob in a voice that had a light American accent to it, he continued to talk fondly about the course and I began to feel a bubble of excitement as I thought of the possibilities this course could have upon me and my short films. This was an amazing discovery, the enthusiasm was there. The man knew what he was on about, this course was like a dream come true, heaven in the form of education and then it happened. "...and you wouldn't have to do another course because this is the creative and media diploma", concluded Bob. I had to hold my mouth to stop myself choking. "Pardon", I whispered slowly. "This is the creative and media diploma", Bob repeated an eye raised in confusion.
My father had not picked up on the fact that this was the course I was trying to leave and began to squeeze more information out of the two until I kicked him in the shin and he took the hint.
We stood up and took our leave, not the most progressive talk, but certainly a funny situation.
Reflecting on today, I find that it was most productive and has left me with positive thoughts of the future. How will it go? We shall have to see when we get there I suppose. The time will come and I'm sure I'll be here to blog about it. But until then, we continue on the road to, well, anywhere...
Now before I go into the fables of the day, I'm going to clear up the cliffhanger I left at the end of the previous post.
My performance started, as we announced that we were going to do our act. I got up nervously joined by my companions, Jacob and Lauren, as they cleared the stage and allowed me to begin our act. I was singing as if I was a priest in a church and I can tell you now that it was not easy to keep a straight face as I stood there, eyes closed singing "ahhhhhhhmen" and "ahhhhhh yesss". I thought up the "ah yes" from the aid of the legendary Tom Baker, who used to be a monk you know? The audience of five were giggling and my adrenaline pumped up, the rush allowed me to turn into my crazy onstage alter ego (known in this case as Al Raffers).
At fifteen minutes, this was the longest performance me and my dear partner had done. But as we stood there making complete prats out of ourselves, it almost felt like we had been doing this all of our lives and the jokes seemed to come out fluently, some were bad, "why did the chicken cross the road?" "I don't know, why don't you go and ask him?" and some were worse, "What do you call a fish with no eyes?" "Fsh?" "No, blind!" but at the end of it, we got a massive applause and I was left feeling very proud of myself and my two co-stars. The double act truly is working out and yesterday proved it for sure. We were rated 98/100 for our performance and I must say that is in particular a brilliant score to have as the judge is harsh.
Back to todays antics, I decided to visit the Joseph Wright Centre. This is the home of Derby college, it is a big building which looks extremely dull in a futuristic kind of way on the outside, but full of fun on the inside. I was there for the open day, exploring to see if I could find the right courses for me and as my eyes burst out of their sockets at the look of the extremity of the place, I almost fell over for amazement! This was an entire world, I hadn't even know had existed until the very moment I stepped inside. Following the crowd, we approached the young woman at the table. She gave us a friendly face and ushered me into writing my name and details on a small page. After this we were all hurdled into a room that was full of comfy seats and a projector board.
We sat and a small pompous man stood in front of us. His skin was tanned and he wore a navy blue suit, which gave his stance a formal tone. His hands were clasped together, fidgeting at the look of the growing audience.
On his face, was a sweaty moustache which was mimicked by his hair, that had begun to recede half way across his head. Of all the features this man possessed, the bright red shirt was what stuck out the most. It was accompanied by a red and white poka dot tie, which was dazzling in the dim light. "Good evening", he cleared his throat as his rich voice spoke almost automatically. "Welcome to the Joseph Wright Center..."
And so the speech on for around twenty minutes and slowly but surely I found that I began to like this guy. He was honest and sweet, spoke of the students with real pride in his voice and made all of us feel calm and comforted. This place was a place that I could grow to love.
After the last slide, we began to pile out of our rooms and looked upon the map as we begun the quest to find the courses we wanted to hear more about. First I pursued the media room, eager to find if I could do my A2 course. The good news was that I could finish it! The bad news was I needed three extra AS topics before I could do it. A2 you may find yourself asking? Well let me explain why I'm even looking at college at the age of 17...
I made some wrong choices in year 12 and made some even worse ones in year 13. I decided to take a diploma in creative and media and found only recently that it was a rotten idea.
Back to reality....
I had 2 AS courses picked out. These were, extended project (a project about anything) and photography (photoshop, here I come!) and the final of the three I had originally decided to do, was Film Studies. But because of what I like to call "Al's academic luck", it had been dropped for the following year. Which left me with a dilemma, what course could I do? I seemed to recall the head talking about a games development course and decided to take a further look into it.
Sitting down at the table which had been set up with a black cloth draped over it and a laptop perched to the side of the two men that ran it. They introduced themselves as Bob, a man with glasses and short spiky hair, in his late 40's and Dan - grade one all over, slightly younger than the other. "We open the course with graphic designs", said Bob in a voice that had a light American accent to it, he continued to talk fondly about the course and I began to feel a bubble of excitement as I thought of the possibilities this course could have upon me and my short films. This was an amazing discovery, the enthusiasm was there. The man knew what he was on about, this course was like a dream come true, heaven in the form of education and then it happened. "...and you wouldn't have to do another course because this is the creative and media diploma", concluded Bob. I had to hold my mouth to stop myself choking. "Pardon", I whispered slowly. "This is the creative and media diploma", Bob repeated an eye raised in confusion.
My father had not picked up on the fact that this was the course I was trying to leave and began to squeeze more information out of the two until I kicked him in the shin and he took the hint.
We stood up and took our leave, not the most progressive talk, but certainly a funny situation.
Reflecting on today, I find that it was most productive and has left me with positive thoughts of the future. How will it go? We shall have to see when we get there I suppose. The time will come and I'm sure I'll be here to blog about it. But until then, we continue on the road to, well, anywhere...
Wednesday, 19 January 2011
Traffic, libraries and people that state the obvious...
My eyes open drowsily, I have been awoken from my slumber. Glancing at the time (6:05am) I smile and cuddle down into my bed.
"Allan it's quarter to eight!" comes the irritant voice of my Dad, shouting from downstairs. I don't panic. I mean it's only quarter to and I don't get up until half past. Hang on. What was that? Eight!? Sitting up in bed I choke on god knows what and come tumbling out. Why does time go that fast? I mean one minute I'm set for another hour or so and the next I'm extremely late for meeting my girlfriend at the bus stop and looking at the time she's probably already on the first bus!
I get changed as fast as I can and running down stairs I take my bowl and shovel coco-pops down my throat until, after four spoonfuls, I'm finished and ready to go. I notice that the time is now 7:55am, which means I have 5 minutes to get there without being completely late. I've missed my bus so I hop into my Dads car, the engine groans into life and off we go, at thirty miles per hour tearing down the street.
Another question I have about life is, why do traffic lights hate me? We're on the way and the first set are green.... and then we arrive at them and they blink that malicious red, as if they had done it on purpose just to spite me and make the morning ahead worse than it already was. The red turns to amber turns to green. And off we go again, speeding down the road not daring to slow down in case time sped up and beat us. Then what happens? Yes, you guessed it; it's red again.
Wow, I'm having the best luck today!
I look at the red light, blinding me. Having a staring competition, one I will win! You will blink first if it kills me. Eyes water, the light flickers teasingly, my eyes struggling not to close I squint and do my best impression of a chinese man to save myself from blinking. But the world goes black just for a brief second and the car roars into life as that green light finally flashes on.
My journey went the same way. Drive. Stop. Move on. Drive. Stop. Move on. By the time the clock turned 8:15am, I was within seeing distance of the bus station, just about two or three minutes left, the home run was there. The car began to move, gathering speed until slowly, slowly and.... we were two minutes away! This impossible race against time was nearly over. Finally! The relief I felt was immense, I was almost as relieved as a student that had just found out that his teacher wasn't in on the day he failed to hand in his now overdue homework (and believe me, I've been there!)
Ping! The beautiful green light of hope flicked out and fell dead as it's red brother took over. Now I wasn't only late, I was about a million years late!
Pulling up, I kicked open the door, shouldered my bag and sprinted towards the pedestrian crossing which (guess what) was on red. The traffic lights were all on green, now that I wasn't in the car, it's just the little bloody man that was red! After what seemed like an age, I was allowed to dash over to the other side and I had made it, at 8:20am, to my destination.
My girlfriend, Alissa, was waiting for me as predicted. Not the best time to be late, thinking that I really needed to make this up to her, I boarded the bus and slumped down in my seat for a rest.
Assuming it was Thursday, I had typically read the wrong time table. So I arrived late at my first lesson and allowed my day to take control.
"Allan it's quarter to eight!" comes the irritant voice of my Dad, shouting from downstairs. I don't panic. I mean it's only quarter to and I don't get up until half past. Hang on. What was that? Eight!? Sitting up in bed I choke on god knows what and come tumbling out. Why does time go that fast? I mean one minute I'm set for another hour or so and the next I'm extremely late for meeting my girlfriend at the bus stop and looking at the time she's probably already on the first bus!
I get changed as fast as I can and running down stairs I take my bowl and shovel coco-pops down my throat until, after four spoonfuls, I'm finished and ready to go. I notice that the time is now 7:55am, which means I have 5 minutes to get there without being completely late. I've missed my bus so I hop into my Dads car, the engine groans into life and off we go, at thirty miles per hour tearing down the street.
Another question I have about life is, why do traffic lights hate me? We're on the way and the first set are green.... and then we arrive at them and they blink that malicious red, as if they had done it on purpose just to spite me and make the morning ahead worse than it already was. The red turns to amber turns to green. And off we go again, speeding down the road not daring to slow down in case time sped up and beat us. Then what happens? Yes, you guessed it; it's red again.
Wow, I'm having the best luck today!
I look at the red light, blinding me. Having a staring competition, one I will win! You will blink first if it kills me. Eyes water, the light flickers teasingly, my eyes struggling not to close I squint and do my best impression of a chinese man to save myself from blinking. But the world goes black just for a brief second and the car roars into life as that green light finally flashes on.
My journey went the same way. Drive. Stop. Move on. Drive. Stop. Move on. By the time the clock turned 8:15am, I was within seeing distance of the bus station, just about two or three minutes left, the home run was there. The car began to move, gathering speed until slowly, slowly and.... we were two minutes away! This impossible race against time was nearly over. Finally! The relief I felt was immense, I was almost as relieved as a student that had just found out that his teacher wasn't in on the day he failed to hand in his now overdue homework (and believe me, I've been there!)
Ping! The beautiful green light of hope flicked out and fell dead as it's red brother took over. Now I wasn't only late, I was about a million years late!
Pulling up, I kicked open the door, shouldered my bag and sprinted towards the pedestrian crossing which (guess what) was on red. The traffic lights were all on green, now that I wasn't in the car, it's just the little bloody man that was red! After what seemed like an age, I was allowed to dash over to the other side and I had made it, at 8:20am, to my destination.
My girlfriend, Alissa, was waiting for me as predicted. Not the best time to be late, thinking that I really needed to make this up to her, I boarded the bus and slumped down in my seat for a rest.
Assuming it was Thursday, I had typically read the wrong time table. So I arrived late at my first lesson and allowed my day to take control.
***
Two lessons and a form time later, I found myself in the library, sitting down and reading the new book I had decided to pick up. Falling into the world of literature is quite an interesting plight, one loses oneself in the mysterious world that lurks ahead and explores the mind of the other human being who has put pen to paper and come to this result. As the plot begins to the thicken, what do I hear but the sound of... "WOULD YOU BE QUITE IN THE LIBRARY PLEASE!" the Liberian is yelling at the top of her voice to quiet the entire library, which would be all very well if she wasn't being the noisiest thing in it! I am awoken from the wonderful world of Thomas Covenant and find myself back in reality.
And if that isn't enough one of the women, who is a teacher in the library has the cheek to come up to my group of friends and tell us off! I mean come on, is it a crime to have some idle chit chat and read your book these days? It isn't the fact she told us off, its how she went about it. She walked up to us and said; "Excuse me", she was smiling pleasantly and we were all preparing ourselves to supply her with an answer to one of the many these people ask. "You do know this is a library?" Is it? A library? With loads of a book shelves? And sections to read? I hadn't noticed. All that I could utter in reply to this was, "thank you" and she disappeared leaving me to burst into laughter and fantasise at what replies I could have given.
But my day is unfinished, what lurks at the end is the second performance ever given by "Raffers and Kay", the comedy double act I started just two weeks or so previous.
Am I ready? Well as ready as a guy who is going to strip down to a vest that reads "F.B.I" (Female Body Inspector) and Popeye boxers in front of his new drama class can be I suppose. Will it go well? Only time and another post will tell...
Tuesday, 18 January 2011
Where have I been all your life?
Hello and welcome to this extremely fun and boring blog about my life! If you've already stalked my profile you will have found that I'm currently 17 years old, learning to drive and beginning my quest on becoming a published writer. Which is what brings us to this very blog in fact. After taking the Writers Bureau course I decided that it was time to get a source of daily writing. So here we are, history in the making.
Maybe one day you will look back at this blog and think wow, this is where that guy started! Or it might be published as The Writers Guide of What Not To Do! Either way, I think this blog will go down in one kind of history or another. Today was a beautifully mundane day, I went into Sixth Form sat studying for my course for two hours and finally went to my lesson.
The lesson was taught by a wonderful teacher. She truly is magnificent. One of her many talents is in fact, terrifying the life out of us all (us being the class) and the only problem is we wouldn't be so scared if we would just sit down and do the work. But Alas, we are teenagers and as we all know, the youth of today (or youth like me) are very lazy and lack certain disciplines. I'm going to stop for a moment as I make myself a cup of tea.
I am back and now, I find that this is the most relevant time to talk about my most favourite drink in the world. Tea! Sent down by the Gods for Mankind to drink, I drink around three dozen cups a day and still never tire. To me, tea is like a drug and I am, in fact, addicted. I stand there fidgeting in front of the kettle, hopping up and down like a demented frog. Suddenly, I feel a tingle on my tongue, it's my taste buds exploding and screaming for chocolate. Deciding that the water will take a while to boil I make my way over to the biscuit tin (which is now full of small neglected chocolates that didn't make it into the mouths of my family at Christmas) and see what I can find.
Toffee Crisps and chocky eggs are what lurks inside, nothing that tickles my fancy. But then right at the bottom, buried in the rubble of sweets and treats is a Breakaway bar. After a moments pause to view the situation I pounce. My hand dives inside the tin and swims to the bottom to collect my prize, just like a lucky dip I pull and the biscuit bar is mine! By the time I have returned to the kettle the water is boiled and all that's left to do is pop a tea bag in a cup. Pour the water. Five second wait. Scoop out the bag and dunk it in the tea bag bowl and finally my beautiful cup of wonder has been created.
Now that I am accompanied by my cuppa I am free to sit and continue my studies. One day I will be a successful writer. And the quest starts here!
Al
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